


Insecurities

by Yassmina



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Hoseok has a lot of feelings and doubts, Hurt/Comfort, Hyunwoo is there to comfort him, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 12:10:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14832023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yassmina/pseuds/Yassmina
Summary: Hoseok’s arms circled tightly around Hyunwoo’s torso. He was looking for any comfort he could get.“I’m tired.” He whispered and Hyunwoo felt a sharp pang in his heart.





	Insecurities

Living together in one limited space made everyone learn how to get used to some uncanny behaviors from the members. 

Changkyun made it his life mission to bless his hyungs with his naked glory whenever he found the opportunity. 

Hoseok couldn’t remember the number of times he had to bark at Hyungwon for his disgusting tendency to lay on Hoseok’s bed after sweating profusely. At some point he just gave up all together and decided instead to crawl into Hyunwoo’s bed. 

Hyunwoo, being the sweet soul he is, didn’t have the heart to kick him out of his bed, not when Hosoek would curl against his chest and burry his face into Hyunwoo’s neck. That and also because holding Hoseok in his arms made him feel a certain way and Hyunwoo wasn’t about to deny himself that feeling. 

Only, after living more than three years together now, what truly became one of their daily occurrences were Hoseok’s tears. 

Hoseok cries, a lot. The amount of tears he spilled in those three years was more than the amount spilled by the six members combined. This merely became a fact. Hoseok’s heart was too fragile sometimes, enabling him to be moved to tears at the slightest inconveniences. 

This night was one of those dreadful nights his emotions and doubts overwhelmed his senses. Hoseok was an extremely insecure person. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, he never felt like he was good enough and that crippled his self esteem. 

Even with all his hard work, he still felt like he needed to get more work done and to achieve better quality. His members were very proud of him and all the songs he put out, but he still can do way better. He can still push himself way harder. 

He didn’t feel like he was good enough. 

Hoseok could feel the very familiar burn in his throat. His eyes stung. In the darkness of the room he shared with Hungwon and Hyunwoo, he turned his back on where Hyunwoo was sleeping and faced the wall. 

At this point, the tears were unstoppable and Hoseok just let them be. He will never be good enough, and that frustrated him to no end because his members deserved way better.   
His members always worked so hard, rarely catching breaks, continuously working on mixtapes and osts, continuously promoting their team in variety shows, continuously making their name known, yet he couldn’t even do his work properly. 

It sucks to feel useless.

Hoseok curled on himself and buried his face in his pillows. He tried really hard to stifle his whimpers, but a really loud sob escaped his mouth in the deafening silence of the room. 

“Hoseok?”

He froze, trying to mute his very existence. 

“Hoseok?” Hyunwoo asked again. “Is something wrong?”

Hoseok pretended to be asleep hoping against all odds that Hyunwoo will just go back to sleep, but of course being yet again the sweet soul he is, Hyunwoo had to make sure with his own eyes that Hoseok was actually okay and not wallowing in despair.

There was a soft tap on his shoulder, one that wasn’t meant to startle him, but Hoseok jumped out of his skin making him instantly face Hyunwoo.

It was dark, except for the moonlight dimly lighting the room, but Hyunwoo’s eyes widened as he noticed the tear stained cheeks of Hoseok. With his sleeves, Hoseok quickly tried to wipe his cheeks. It was so embarrassing of him to be caught crying his eyes out in the middle of the night like a child whose favorite plushy was taken away from him, only the matter involved his self esteem so maybe he shouldn’t feel that embarrassed after all. 

Hyunwoo’s eyes were gentle but Hoseok still couldn’t meet them.

“Look at me Hoseok.” 

Hyunwoo held gently Hoseok’s hands in his and rubbed them soothingly. When Hoseok didn’t budge and his eyes stayed glued on the blankets, Hyunwoo held his face instead. 

“Please Hoseokie, tell me what’s wrong?” 

At the nickname, Hoseok’s guards instantly dropped. With them, new waves of tears overtook him. He held Hyunwoo’s hands on his cheeks and sobbed softly into them. Hyunwoo was instantly alarmed. He swiftly joined him in his bed and cradled him to his chest. Hoseok was shaking uncontrollably now and his sobs were barely muffled by Hyunwoo’s shirt.

He didn’t know what was happening to him, but the tears just wouldn’t stop. He was grateful beyond belief that Hyungwon slept like the dead. 

Hyunwoo never once loosened his embrace around Hoseok. He gently ruffled his dark hair until Hoseok could properly breathe again. 

“It’s okay Hoseokie, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m here. We’re all here for you.”

“I’m so s-sorry.”

Hoseok’s arms circled tightly around Hyunwoo’s torso. He was looking for any comfort he could get.

“I’m tired.” Hoseok whispered and Hyunwoo felt a sharp pang in his heart. 

“Why do I feel tired? Why do I feel so tired when I’m not even working that hard? All the members work super hard to get our name across and promote us but I’m barely doing anything for our team. What’s wrong with me? Lord what’s wrong with me? At this point it would just be better if I left for good because that would barely make any difference-”

“No!” Hyunwoo reprimanded harshly. He was so not having his best friend thinking this lowly about himself. 

“No.” Hyunwoo repeated, a little softer this time. He held again Hoseok’s face in his hands and made sure he looked him in the eyes. 

“How could you say that? Seriously how could you even think about leaving us Hoseok when we finally made it into this hellish industry for already three years now? monsta x is monsta x with seven members, no more and definitely no less. I know this industry can be really shitty and I’m so sorry for that, but the only thing we can do is to pull through this together and lift each other up. I’m sorry to say this but you’ll have to stick with us for many years to come. Maybe we will even get married together. All seven of us happily in one relationship.”

Despite himself Hoseok chuckled, his beautiful gummy smile instantly lifted up Hyunwoo’s heart. 

“Seven boyfriends. Imagine the chaos.”

Hyunwoo’s eyes crinkled and smiled in the way Hoseok loved the most. “That would be a beautiful chaos.”

The stare they were sharing got steadily intense. Hyunwoo lifted his sleeve and wiped the last of the tears, all the while holding the eye contact. Their foreheads connected. Hoseok’s breath grazed Hyunwoo’s lips making goosebumps rise along the back of his neck. 

Hyunwoo interlaced their fingers and held their foreheads together. “You’re gorgeous Hoseok. You’re talented and very very hard working sometimes I just want to tie you to bed and order you to rest. You have a very nice way with words and you know how to perfectly describe emotions it gets me spooked sometimes. But most importantly,” Hyunwoo held Hoseok’s hands tighter, “your personality is the most precious thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

Something warm bloomed inside Hoseok’s chest. The pleasant feeling was so overwhelming fresh tears started to spill from his eyes. Hyunwoo chuckled as he wiped again Hoseok’s face with his sleeve. “Everything about you is so precious and endearing even Changkyun feels the need to protect you and care for you. We love you so very very much so please take it easy on yourself okay?” Hyunwoo’s face got closer. ”Please promise me. “

Hoseok closed his eyes. His heart was full of love and gratefulness he felt like it was about to combust. 

He brought Hyunwoo’s hands up to his mouth and kissed them. 

“I promise.”

Satisfied with the sincere answer, Hyunwoo gathered Hoseok in his arms again and ordered him to sleep since a hectic schedule awaited them in the early morning. Hoseok eagerly complied and nuzzled Hyunwoo’s neck. It didn’t take long for their soft snores to fill the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Showho does very soft things to my heart.


End file.
